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Are you living your full potential?

In my work, I frequently speak with people who are disenchanted with their lives.

“I feel so frustrated … I’ve been doing the same thing at work for years and I just can’t seem to get ahead.”

“I feel lost. I know I am capable of doing more but have no idea how to achieve what I really want to do.”

“Maybe I’m just not meant to do anything else. I mean, who am I to want more?”

I find this very sad. 

Why we've got to stop talking about "Work/Life Balance"!

Work/Life Balance doesn't exist - and while we continue to strive to achieve it, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Why?

The phrase itself suggests a couple things that are inherent in the problem:

What does it take to achieve Work/Life Balance? (is it even possible?)

The Secret to handling ‘Difficult’ People

(WARNING: Your life as you know it is about to change)

“How can I handle difficult people?”

Answer – you can’t.

“Wait – what? You mean I’m stuck with them in my life?”

Answer – it all depends on how you look at it.

Your Good-Enough List (A critical Sanity-Saving Tool)

I recently attended a three-day women’s festival that I attended for the first time in 2016. It’s never the same the second, third or umpteenth time around is it? First of all, there’s that ‘first time newness’ that we can only get once. “Wow! Look at that!” “Goodness, that’s amazing!” And so on … because we are seeing things through fresh, first-time eyes.

In our subsequent visits, while we look for that same magic, but logically know it will be different than our beloved ‘first-time’.  We then start to notice what’s not there that we liked the previous year(s), and lament “But I really liked that!”

So this year, I decided to focus instead on what was new, different and intriguing. And that’s how I came across The Release Tree.

Courage – an expanded definition (It isn’t what I thought it was)

We’ve all heard these definitions …

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it.  (I’ve seen this attributed to Dan Millman)

Courage is resistance to fear.  (Thanks Mark Twain)

Courage is mastery of fear.  (Mark Twain again)

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  (Kelly Clarkson made this line famous in her pop song)

In other words, grit your teeth and move on regardless. Tough it out. Toughen up.

A lot of people who know me say I’m one of the most tenacious, determined, “courageous” people they know. And I’ve always kind of liked this. I’m proud that I ‘hang in there’, dig deep and find my way through challenges.

My father (bless you, dad) had a saying that went something like this: “The real measure of a person’s character is how they handle adversity.” And I liked this too – for most of my life.

Whenever I was going through a tough time, I’d remember my dad’s words and think ‘keep going, Sandi – you’re developing character. People will admire you for the fact that you’ve made it through all this crap.’ And so I did keep going (though I’m not sure this really earned me brownie points in the admiration-from-other-people stakes).

When was the last time you Celebrated?

That’s right – how long has it been since you celebrated?

I don’t mean go-out-on-the-town-and-spend-a-fortune celebration …

I mean even a simple pause in your day when you gave yourself a pat on the back.

Do your Team Members feel like they belong?

The sense of belonging is one of our fundamental human needs. The American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, is widely known for creating his model of Hierarchy of Needs in which the 3rd level of the hierarchy is Belongingness & Love Needs (family, friends, relationships, affection and work groups).

Maslow's premise is that innate human needs must be fulfilled in order of the hierarchy (needs at the 3rd level can't be met until needs in the 2nd level have been met, and level 2 needs can't be met unless those at level 1 have been fulfilled).

That's good news for most leaders in our business world.

Success is about direction, not necessarily speed!

We often think of 'success' as reaching the goal, or completing the task.

Not true!

Cleaned my Office ... Cleared my Mind!

I have a bad habit.

Being a visual processor, I fall into the bad habit of leaving stuff arund my office so I can see it ... so I don't forget it.

Bad move!

The Top 5 Reasons Corporate Training Fails

Thousands of organisations spend countless dollars on training and developing their employees every year. Yet they fail to see any tangible result that adds value to the business. What are they doing wrong – and how can it be fixed?

Double-speak and Silence hide the truth

Irrespective of what your stance is on how we should deal with Australia's asylum seekers, this post holds some important truths for all our leaders.

5 Tips to Say 'No' Graciously

A Fatal Leadership Mistake!

I heard it again this week.

I've heard it many times before.

Unfortunately I'll probably hear it again in the future - more than a couple of times.

"Sandi ... my staff member's performance has been terrible for months now ... but I just don't know how to handle it. What can I do?"

Hmmm ... where shall I start?

Conflict always involves more than one person!

Seems obvious, doesn't it?

Yet, it's surprising to me how many people forget this.When focussed on 'who's to blame', people involved are looking for the singular person who caused it all.

Wrong!

You CAN Transform your Team!

Our popular Breakfast Seminar on Leading & Transforming Difficult Teams is running again in Melbourne on 26th Sept (that's next week!). 

Quoted in The Age on how to stop Office Gossip

For the Business section of The Age, I was interviewed to provide expert comment on the impact of office gossip - and how to put an end to it.

Is Office Chit-Chat harmful?

A strange article on Smart Company's site ... and I'm not sure I agree with all of it. (Or much of it, come to think about it ...)

Have you witnessed Workplace Bullying?

I saw this in Smart Company's materials ... 

Do you ask for help as often as you should?

I've just received my latest Post Program Executive Report for a client I worked with last week. I used to do these myself - but then I finally saw the light ...

Happy Independence Day!

OK ... so I'm thinking about indepedence today because I was born in the USA and spent the early years of my life there. And today is America's Independence Day - a national holiday where our break from England in 1776 is commemorated and celebrated.

But it's a subject worthy of pondering ...

How independent are you?

Will this make things more fair?

The Fair Work Amendment Bill 2013, which provides a new bullying jurisdiction for the Fair Work Commission (FWC), passed the Senate on 27 June.

The bullying regime, which commences on 1 January 2014, allows bullied workers to apply to the FWC for help to resolve the matter.

The link between workplace bullying and depression - it's real

Safe Work Australia commissioned a study on the relationship bewteen workplace bullying and the incidence of depression. 

Members of the Centre for Research on Ageing, Health and Wellbeing at the Australian National University found increased prevalence of person-related and work-related bullying where respondents reported negative work characteristics such as high job demands and low job control - as well as what they call 'poor organisational culture'.

The findings are fascinating and are a must-read for all Leaders and HR Professionals.

Where are the Leaders?

“Leadership is not about titles and positions, there are people with no titles who lead every day. … Leadership is about making a positive difference and you cannot do that without empathy.” Carly Fiorina, former CEO of HP. 

Hear, hear, Carly!

So, how can you be a leader without a title?

Here are 10 ways you can get started - today!

10 Dumb Ways to De-Motivate Your Team

1.Ignore them

Obvious, right? Yet there’s lots of ways to ignore people. Be constantly in meetings and/or out of the office. Say your ‘door is always open’, but it’s usually closed. Be distracted by your email or phone while they’re talking with you. Avoid eye contact as you walk through the office. Tell them you’ll get back to them – and then don’t.

© Copyright 2013  Sandi Givens and Knowledge-Able Pty Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

Sandi Givens – Author, Facilitator & Coach
Leading Specialist in Leading & Transforming Teams from Struggling to Excelling

Is Faking It a good idea?

I'm sure you've heard the saying 'Fake it till you make it'.

I've always disliked that. Probably because I have such a high value on authenticity and being the real you and true to yourself in all contexts.

But here's a lady who's reshaped my thinking ...

10 Ways to reduce Stress in your Team!

Too many times, we end up putting a bandaid over the stress, rather than dealing with the cause. And so, the stressful cycle continues, on and on and on and on ...

Band Aids  that are frequently used in organisations include:

Excuses & Lies in the Workplace

As I stood in line to be served at our local Post Office, an item caught my eye. It was a small box (about 10cm square) that evidently held lots of cards with information on them. (It was sealed, so I couldn't look at the actual contents.) And the title on the box was this:

Do you know how important Followers are?

Especially the first follower.

For a quick lesson in Leadership and Followship (3 minutes of your time), check out this YouTube clip ...

The Acute Heptagram of Impact

The Acute WHAT of HUH?

I know - the name seems crazy, but the thinking behind it is fascinating - and useful!

Hooray for Helen Conway!

Who's Helen Conway?

She's the Director of the Equal Opportunity for Women in the Workplace Agency.

And she says it's "disgraceful" that you can count on one hand the number of female Chief Executives of Australia's top 200 companies listed on the Stock Exchange.

How do we help Rural Australia grow?

It's been a long-standing desire of mine to take my work more frequently to areas outside of the capital cities of Australia. People living in rural areas do not have the usual smorgasbord of training and development opportunities that those living in the big cities do.

Are you a Rucus-Maker?

If, like me, you find Seth Godin interesting, treat yourself to viewing this chat with this amazing thinker ... 

Let's watch our language

While listening to talk-back radio today as I drove between appointments, I heard the news of a recently conducted study that reported men in their 20's and 30's are just as 'clucky' and want children just as much - if not more - than their female counterparts.

And how do we refer to those men and women who don't have children?

Time to take a walk

I heard on the radio this morning on the way into the city that today is evidently Take a Long Walk Day.

Personally I'd never heard of this before, but the story behind it is fascinating.

What can you learn from dropping a Mud Cake?

It was getting late and I was tired.

The next day I was facilitating a full day session with a client, with a very early start and late finish.

The next day was also my husband's birthday.

A somber note about the past 2 days

Only 4 days into my blogging challenge and I've already 'fallen off the wagon'.

I'm forgiving myself, though, as the reason i haven't posted for a few days is both sad and important.

I've taken the Ultimate Blog Challenge for October!

I'm so delighted with my new web site! And especially the fact that I can easily post blogs here ... so to get me in the habit of writing regularly, I've joined the Ultimate Blog Challenge for October!

Is it time to stop pretending?

You can see interesting things in the most unexpected places …

I spent last weekend in Nagambie, Victoria – lucky me … a whole weekend with female friends (and met some new ones, too) and spending time pursuing one of my favourite pastimes: scrapbooking.

Who are the real heroes?

There’s no doubt Australia loves its sportspeople. Now in the throws of the Olympics, we are bombarded with media about these ‘heroes’. We can send ‘Hero Messages’ to support and congratulate them. We hang on to the hope of them bringing home the largest-ever haul of Gold Medals.

Are you ready to step up?

“Leadership is not a popularity contest” I remember my good friend and colleague, Robyn Henderson, sharing that thought with me many years ago. And I truly believes she’s right.

I look at what’s happening in our political system and it makes me sick. We vote these people in, we trust them to spend out money (our taxes) in responsible and appropriate ways.

24 hours without heating

Having your heater break down during a Melbourne winter is not much fun – especially when you are working from home. I’d put on as many layers of clothing as I could and still be able to move my arms and fingers to do my work on my computer. And I was still cold.

What a cracker of a night it was!

That’s how the evening was promoted – ‘A Cracker of a Night!’ And it didn’t disappoint.

I’ve long known of Melina Shamworth’s business and her dedication to make a real difference in the lives of as many people as she possibly can. But last night was the first time I’ve had the chance to attend one of her events.